I grew up in a very religious household. Church every sunday, prayers before every meal and bedtime. Along with that came no celebrating Halloween. But that didn’t happen until I was around 8 years old. I remember having Halloween parties when I was really little, and trick or treating in costumes, and having normal kid fun. But then we suddenly weren’t allowed to celebrate Halloween because it was evil. We would be taken out of school, so as not to be subjected to the evil, that is going door to door, asking for candy.

One year, I remember the parents from my mom’s church (I¬†would never consider it mine because I hated it and hated going) getting all crazy and having a big prayer circle, or whatever you call it, on Halloween night. It’s like they thought hell was going to open up, and spit out everything there was, into our little corner of the world.

I don’t really get why they got so crazy. Maybe it was all the rumors of razor blades and such in candy, after all, it was the 80’s. All I know is I thought, and still think it’s ridiculous. There’s nothing evil about Halloween. Or dressing up in costume. Or trick or treating! It’s fun, and I personally think depriving your kids of that is so not ok.


Time for another episode of Tales From My Childhood. This one’s not so much a tale, but more of an I’m stupid kind of story.

Back in the 90’s when TLC was a group still, and Waterfalls was a big hit, I always thought they were saying “don’t go Jason, waterfalls.” Like, don’t go, there’s waterfalls. They’re dangerous.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized they were saying don’t go chasing waterfalls.


Time for another round of Tales From My Childhood.

When I was 11 or 12, I was already well endowed. I was at least a hefty b-cup by then, well on my way to a c-cup. One afternoon my best friend, and now sister-in-law, went swimming at the local rec-center. I decided it was then that I should try out the new-to-me strapless bikini I had got from a family friend.

We were sitting on a tube, when all of a sudden, my top decided to pop off! Thankfully, because I was on a tube, I was able to go in the middle of it and save some embarrassment. I quickly got the top back on and went to the locker room to get my shirt, just in case it happened again, which thankfully, it didn’t.

That ended my venture into strapless bikinis, and bikinis in general.


Since I don’t have any children of my own to pass on my wisdom and stories, I thought I’d share some here.

When I was in highschool, I think around 15, I went to a friend’s birthday party for a sleepover. We decided it would be super fun to get high on pot, and drink, before we dressed up as hookers and tried to get into the pub that was by her house. Fun right? I remember that we did not, in fact, get into the pub, and I’m not sure we actually even tried. What I do remember is wearing shoes that didn’t fit me, and were either too large or too small, a very tight skirt, and a lot of makeup.

There’s not much that I remember from that night, other than the fact that when we went to sleep I was very, very high, and when I woke up, I was still very high. And we listened to a lot of Alanis Morissette. For some reason that really sticks out.

This tale didn’t have a lot of wisdom to it, other than please don’t get high and dress up like hookers when you’re 15.