91.

I need a cat. I want a cat. I love cats. I’m really just a crazy cat lady that has no cats. I’m like that one lady that went on a big rant on YouTube or whatever, about how she loves cats, and all the cats in the world were her best friend. I hear you lady, and I feel the same way. Cats are the shit, and I love them!

90.

I don’t talk much. There’s not really anyone around to talk to besides husband, and I see him so rarely it seems that I just don’t talk anymore. Sometimes I’ll talk to myself if I think of something funny that just needs to be said aloud, or to the tv when it warrants it.

I find that, possibly, because of this, my voice cracks a lot. I’ll be saying something and out of nowhere the sound just doesn’t come out. It happens quite often. It’s almost worrisome, since I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, however, I don’t really worry about it. I feel like I should though.

Also, because I don’t talk, when I do, I feel like I word vomit. Like I open my mouth and words just vomit out of it. It’s a really strange feeling. One I really don’t like. It literally feels like I’m vomiting words. It happens mostly when I’m talking to strangers, like in a shop or something.

Maybe I just need to talk more. But I have no one to talk to, so what’s the point?

89.

Tax season. One of my favourite times of year. The only problem is husband gets anxiety when we have any significant amount of extra money. Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s from growing up poor, like I did, or maybe it’s the stress of knowing it can go places but not sure where to put it? Anyways, his anxiety is causing me to have anxiety since I’m prone to it, I imagine. I tend to feed off of others emotions, and mimic them myself. It sucks. I should be excited and happy that we are now debt free, and got to go a little spend crazy yesterday. Instead I’m sitting here, typing on a new laptop, waiting for packages in the mail, and feeling down and anxious. My brain sucks!

88.

Last weekend I was talking with my niece and learned she hasn’t watched all of the Harry Potter movies, so being the geeky aunt I am, I invited her to come spend the weekend at my house and binge watch them with me. This is not something I do often, or really, ever. So I was a bit nervous when she said yes, and also quite excited!

She was supposed to come over this evening and stay until Sunday evening, when I got a text from her asking when we’d be finished tomorrow because her mom wanted her home Saturday afternoon. I was like wtf? There’s no way we could watch 8 two-hour movies in one day. Even I can’t do that! So now she has to cancel.

This is one of the reasons I have such an issue with my sister-in-law. I put something out there that’s not easy for me to do, and immediately shuts it down. Especially when it comes to the kids. You’d think she would want us to spend more time with her kids. Apparently not.