Next time I think I should make a turkey, someone please stop me.
And another thing that drives me crazy, so-called “Christian values.” Drugs, sex, drinking, rock and roll, all of those things are taboo in the “Christian” mind. Did Jesus not drink wine? Pretty sure he did. Sure drugs, and an excess of alcohol aren’t good for you, or society in general, but I don’t judge those that imbibe.
I personally don’t drink, but that’s because I don’t care for the taste of alcohol. Although I do enjoy a glass of wine every now and then, and a good lime margarita. I’ve also been known to do drugs. Pot actually. Not now though, although if it becomes legal in Canada, I may switch to that instead of Klonopin.
And sex. Everyone goes on saying masturbation is bad and it’ll make you blind, blah blah blah. Who doesn’t love a good masturbation session? It’s a completely natural thing to do. Slut shaming boys and girls is a terrible thing to do over something so natural.
Quit judging people based on what you think values should be, put out by a religion that is not only corrupt, but also, in my opinion, is pretty much a cult. (Hello Catholics.)
So Monday is Thanksgiving here. We weren’t invited by anyone to have dinner with, so I decided to make our own, all by ourselves. I really don’t care for turkey, but I enjoy all the things that go with it. Stuffing, carrot casserole, gravy, brussels sprouts, and anything else I feel like making. Not only that, but the leftovers! I can get three to four meals out of a turkey dinner at my house, since we’re only two people, and anything with that many leftovers can’t be wrong.
I’m so tired of being angry all the time. It’s exhausting. I constantly have to remind myself to let things go, but it’s a hard thing to do.
So apparently, the whole thing with my mother in laws birthday was a misunderstanding. Insert eye roll here. Supposedly my sister-in-law thought she had invited us and we just had other plans. Ok, that’s fine and I believe her, but I still find it odd that my mother in law was so secretive about going there in the first place. Whatever.
The last two weeks have actually been really good. I’ve gotten back on a better sleep schedule, my restless leg syndrome has gone away, even my depression and anxiety have been nearly non-existent. Then for no reason at all, days after having company, and a doctor’s appointment, I get anxiety for no reason.
I did nothing today. Literally nothing. I vacuumed my basement and binged the last half of season 12 of Grey’s Anatomy. Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing so well the last couple of weeks that it seems terrible. Maybe I’ve forgotten how bad it really gets? I know it’s not bad enough that I need to take meds for it, so that’s something. Usually this happens when I don’t sleep, or don’t sleep long enough. I slept in this morning and slept great last night. I hate not knowing where the anxiety is coming from.
Yesterday was a nice surprise. My brother, his wife, and his kids all came down for a visit. I had a really nice time. Surprisingly, I didn’t have any issues, and they were here for the whole day. The kids were really well-behaved, although I’m not surprised by that, they always are good. We had lunch, and a visit, the boys took the kids to the park, and me and my sister-in-law had more of a visit, and then they went home. All in all, it was a good day. But then I went to bed and had too much stimulation, and needed a pill. Boo.
Reason eleventy billion that I can’t have a job. This morning I woke up after a dream about getting a job, completely anxious. Even the thought of a job in a dream is so stressful, that I had an anxiety attack, both in, and out of sleep. I cannot handle responsibility.
Time for another round of Tales From My Childhood.
When I was 11 or 12, I was already well endowed. I was at least a hefty b-cup by then, well on my way to a c-cup. One afternoon my best friend, and now sister-in-law, went swimming at the local rec-center. I decided it was then that I should try out the new-to-me strapless bikini I had got from a family friend.
We were sitting on a tube, when all of a sudden, my top decided to pop off! Thankfully, because I was on a tube, I was able to go in the middle of it and save some embarrassment. I quickly got the top back on and went to the locker room to get my shirt, just in case it happened again, which thankfully, it didn’t.
That ended my venture into strapless bikinis, and bikinis in general.