12.

Sex. Let’s talk about that for a minute.

I wish, when I was a teenager ready to make that leap, that someone had told me things about sex that no one talks about, other than abstinence, std’s, and safe sex.

Like sex is messy. Incredibly so! If you’re not using a condom, what goes in must come out, and at the most inopportune times. It’s gross. If I would have known that, I’d probably have used condoms and not had so many useless pregnancy scares.

Our bodies make noises. Not just the animalistic noises made during pleasure, but the slapping of skin on skin, and air being pushed in and out. It’s just what happens, and nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s actually really funny too.

The best sex is the kind where you laugh at yourselves. Noises, and fluids, and grunting, and sometimes, drooling, all lead to laughing and having a great time. Sex shouldn’t be serious all the time, it should be fun!

Experiment with your sexuality! Explore the options you’re drawn to, and don’t limit the possibilities. Being tied up, different positions, oral, anal, bdsm, and all of the above. When you’re comfortable with your partner, (and you always should be) try all of the things! I was always so timid and afraid of what I’d look like instead of just being in the moment. It’s when you let go and lose control, that you can really enjoy yourself.

Most of all, don’t be ashamed of your sexuality. I developed at a very early age, and was shamed by the feelings I was having. Parents and grandparents telling me it was dirty and bad. That’s such a terrible thing to teach a child. Sexuality and sexual feelings are the most normal thing in the world. Yes, there is a time and a place for it, but it’s neither dirty, nor bad. I’ve always had a high sex drive, and am glad that I didn’t let those people telling me it was bad, stop me from being my true self.

These are just a few things I wish I’d known. Things I wish people would talk about, because knowing this is just as important to me, as knowing the importance of safe sex. But instead, parents like to focus on abstinence, when we all know, it’s not very realistic.

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